Thursday, April 3, 2008

WTnotthebadFword Wednesday--on Thursday: Facebook

Let me say to all you Facebook lovers out there: I am not dissing Facebook, okay? So not. I am, however, just laying out there why I personally am not jumping on the Facebook bandwagon, because it seems like at least once a week someone asks me, "Are you on Facebook?" and I have to say no. Here's why...

First of all, the whole "Are you on Facebook?" question makes me feel ridiculous. It's a perfectly legitimate question, but it always makes me feel like I am either at a bad college mixer (and have completely run out of things to talk about) or like I am in some kind of odd flirtation ritual. No offense if you have ever asked me that: It's not you, it's me. :)

Second, I have never been able to get past my first conversation about Facebook that took place with a girl who was heading off to college in some eastern state, way far away from everyone she knew. (This was back when Facebook was just for students.) I said, "So, do you know anyone from your drama camp who is also going to school there?" And she said, "No, but a lot of their students are on Facebook, know." No, I did not know, and that totally weirded me out.

Third, unbeknownst to most of my acquaintances, I really hate to make small talk with people I don't know very well or hardly ever see. I cover this pretty well because I talk a lot, but....I do often hide from people at the grocery store or at the mall. Seriously. I can rarely think of anything clever to talk about. I've read all those articles that say "get them to talk about themselves!" but I can never think of a single interesting question to ask. So, I end up blathering on about myself and then I feel like a heel. It's a vicious cycle. PLUS, I keep imagining Facebook as being like that awkward run-in with someone you knew from high school...You see them in the grocery store and are genuinely glad to see them. You have the standard what-are-you-doing-now? chat and that is so much fun. Finally, you realize you both have shopping to do and you've been standing in the frozen food aisle for like 15 minutes and your kid is screaming so you move on. And then, you keep running into them. In the produce, in the deli, in the paper products. And it's so horrifically uncomfortable that I can't even describe it.

Finally, any notions I had about using Facebook for my own evil purposes--say, I don't know, secretly spying on certain people from my past without them ever knowing--were completely blown out of the water when my friend J and I got busted trying to get her an invite to view someone's page. So now, not only do I not know what that kooky guy I dated like 15 years ago is up to, he also thinks I am a stalker.

You know, all this leads me to believe that what this world really needs is a Campus Mail system. I will save that for another post, though...


Random thought for today: What is a Euro Vac, exactly? I bought a little Shark brand vacuum to do the rugs in our house and it has been pretty much useless. It doesn't pick up diddly squat on carpet. (Just so you know, it does pick up diddly on the hardwood, but then you have all this squat lying around....) I was complaining about this to my husband, who replied, "Well it is a Euro Vac. You didn't realize that before now?"


Brian, Jamie, Molly & Sarah said...

Okay, as a seasoned veteran of vacuums and sweepers, I have no idea. So the thought that MG knows something we don't about vacuums causes me to pause, doesn't it you?? Also, if it doesn't work like it should, Euro Vac could be code for: piece of crap, take me back.


Danna Ramsey said...

I loves campus mail! I hates the diddly and the squat!

abc said...

I'm so with you on the run-in with old friends. Recently my daughter and I were on a flight with a friend from high school, we actually ran into one another exiting the plane. It was great at first: he helped me with the stroller, we caught up on things, he even gave my little one a snack, but then there was a little uncomfortable moment when I realized we were done talking and I need to get a diaper changed.
Sorry to be so self-indulgent. You wnated to know that,right?

I'm glad to have run into your blog. You are just as funny as I remembered. And I'm with you on facebook we're just not of that generation!
- ashley brady chandler