WTnotthebadFword Wednesday: Fears

I'm not really a fearful person. It's not that I'm all that courageous, necessarily--just oblivious. I forget to close the door or turn off the stove; I get on planes without a second thought of it crashing; I ride fair rides and worry more about puking than hurtling to my death; I let my kid walk around in public restrooms and put his little hand on the floors and walls. My poor husband has to go behind me locking doors and checking appliances and washing hands and reading warning labels while I go on my merry ignorant way.

The truth is, I am too lazy to nurture any legitimate fears, so instead I just hold on to a few completely irrational ones, including...

Big Dogs. I do like dogs; however, the sound of a big barking dog makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up (in the bad way). We have a rottweiler that lives in the fence behind us that snorts and fumes at us every time we go in the back yard to play. John Mark will run toward the fence squealing "puppy!" while my heart jumps up into my throat. Even the friendly, drooling, overweight lab we meet on our walks makes my blood pressure spike.
I keep trying to pinpoint some event in my childhood that would make me so irrationally afraid of dogs, but I have never even been nipped by a puppy. My best guess is that my mom's attempts to train us to be cautious of strange dogs became deeply ingrained in my psyche. Every time I get near one of these creatures I hear her voice warning, "That dog'll jump up on you!"

Knocking My Teeth Out. I am completely sure this came from my mom, who could imagine a missing-teeth scenario in every sporting activity, no matter how innocent. I also firmly believe that this is why I am the sorriest athlete I know: It's not that I'm uncoordinated or slow or weak or totally undisciplined--It's that I am too afraid of knocking out a tooth. (Really. Can you think of anything more humiliating than having to go to work or church with a HUGE gap in your smile? It's awful.)


(Sorry to pin both of those on you, Mom!)

Having Conjoined Twins. Please note that I am not actually afraid of conjoined twins, like some people have that weird fear of clowns. No, this is more about going to a doctor that says, "You have two babies, but they are attached to each other." Seriously, I have had horrible dreams about this for years, to the point I believed it was an omen. My husband says this is a direct result of watching too many sensational news stories, because the chance of this happening is like one in 1,000,000. Confession: At some point after we decided to stop our fertility treatments, I actually thought to myself: "I guess I can stop worrying about having conjoined twins." It was a huge relief.






Okay, dear readers, time for you to 'fess up: Any other irrational fears out there?